It’s been a week since I binged Netflix’s new series “Maid”.
I didn’t expect to connect so much with the series. It is hard for me to talk about this and I took some time before deciding to share. I cried the first 2 episodes. This short clip had the most powerful impact – too often we give excuses that mental abuse isn’t actually abuse.
The abuse I experienced was primarily mental – with it sometimes becoming physical. The other part of the show that resonated with me is how the system to support those of abuse isn’t really designed to do what it’s intended. There are so many loopholes and snags. We are taught to not talk about the abuse and that it is something the victim should be ashamed about and to hid it.
While my experience isn’t exactly like Alex’s, it has so many similarities. For years, I thought it was my responsibility to keep it all together – to fix everything. And most of all, to be quiet about it. It took me 23 years, counselling and therapy, and a lot of personal work to realize the issues I kept trying to fix weren’t my issues to deal with.
While it was hard, I chose to set boundaries so I could focus on myself and my own happiness. It’s hard every day – but I have a right to be happy and to treated right. This isn’t about sympathy but it’s about making it okay to speak about abuse. It isn’t about making the abuser(s) look bad. It is about speaking up.
The more we don’t allow ourselves to talk about it, the harder it is to keep walking away from it. I read once that “Abuse is life changing, that is for sure. But so is speaking up. When it comes down to it, an abuser robs you of your voice and your ability to speak for yourself. Claiming your voice back can be a difficult, downright terrifying process. But our words have power, as do our stories.” Source: https://ncadv.org/blog/posts/the-power-of-speaking-up
This Netflix series quotes it is a series where you can rewrite your story. I rewrote my story the day I stood up for myself and walked away from the abuse. I rewrite my story every day. I hope that by sharing, if you’re in a situation of abuse whether it’s physical or mental or both, that you are able to rewrite your story as well.