Today all my teacher friends are finishing up last things before summer holidays. I still can’t believe I missed 3 months of work, and I’m anxious to get a timeline at my follow up appointment on July 20 for a return.

Yesterday I was terrified to take off the bandage but I finally did. It isn’t the prettiest sight but it’s ok. It looks worse than it feels. I’m worried about the blood but it’s not hurting so hoping it’s okay.

I had been on sleeping pills since end of April when the pain was so bad, I couldn’t sleep. I used my last one Wednesday night and I didn’t want to ask for more as I hope to get off of all these medications I had during this injury. It took me some time to fall asleep but I also had a 2 hour supper time nap. I did a mindfulness session using the Calm app and then turned on an audiobook on audible. Since this injury, I don’t shift positions and wearing my corded Bose noise cancelling headphones don’t seem to be dangerous. I felt myself drifting off so I actually took off headphones and I fell asleep around 1:00am and I slept until 8:30am. I woke feeling really stiff and sore, and a deep joint pain, along with some nausea. I hadn’t woken up overnight so I hadn’t iced or taken meds for over 8 hours. Brad helped me get a muffin in me and some meds, and today’s first ice packs. It’s amazing how much better I feel with constant icing.

I put on my headphone to listen to my audiobook again, hoping pain and nausea would pass. The pain isn’t severe – just constant and so deep that it hurts enough to make you go crazy. After a couple hours in the dark with an audiobook, I knew I had to get in the shower. I had washed myself real good last 2 days but I was still starting to smell.

So Brad put together the shower chair we ordered, put the suction safety handle on the shower wall, and I put waterproof tegaderm bandages over my 4 incision areas and Saran wrapped the heck around my thigh. Now to get in – using one crutch as I’m not supposed to put full weight on left hip, I managed to get right leg in tub with almost a spill – didn’t think about the bath mat slipping from the weight of crutch pressed against it. Luckily Brad was there and caught it before crutch slipped completely. It was hard to get my left leg raised enough without pain over tub wall but I did it and I got onto the shower chair. Brad handed me the handheld shower head his parents had kindly installed before my surgery, and left. I didn’t think I’d be able to turn on the water and hit the shower button but I did and it felt sooo good to shower. I had left all my shampoos and soaps handy but it still was a bit sore turning and reaching for them. I was still scared about my incisions getting wet but nothing I could do as I was already under water.

Shower done, I called for Brad to help me out of shower. I had decided to use a terry cloth robe instead of bothering with a towel and trying to crutch. Wrapped towel around hair and actually got out of tub ok. When beginning to unwrap the Saran Wrap, I soaked the floor with water but between the plastic and the waterproof bandages, I think incisions stayed dry. The bandages stuck well so I’ve left them on for now. Might as well get a couple showers out of them.

I crutched myself to the spare room where I have clothes that I can wear over my leg. I set out a bunch of possible clothing before surgery. I didn’t want to have to reach or bend in multiple drawers and the closet. This has been so helpful. I bought some shorts a size bigger and I’m so glad I did. The swelling, even though improved since Tuesday, has made the shorts tight around the thigh. Slowly, using the grabber/reacher tool, I got myself dressed.

Since I was up, thought I could make my own lunch and get my own ice. Brad would have to carry my lunch to me but I could try and do some of it. While I was doing that, the teacher who was my replacement while I was off work stopped by with my teacher computer and a gift. I had gotten her a gift as she was amazing while I was away. I can’t believe she got me something as she helped me out! Ginny was hoping something in there was for her but it was all for me.

David’s Tea mug and a collection of organic teas. She knows me well and we just met when she subbed for me the day after my physio appointment and I thought I’d just be missing a few days. I’ve made a new friend during this, and she is going to be teaching French at another school in October so we’ll continue to work together when she needs any help.

By this time, I was exhausted. I crawled back into bed with ice and lunch and didn’t move for most of afternoon besides a bathroom break and one more ice swap. We had some rain but around 4:30 I got got up for more ice but thought maybe I could try to go outside for 5 minutes and throw Ginny the ball. We have the chuck it stick so I don’t have to bend. Took longer to figure out how to get my good sandals on without help. We got outside and I threw her the ball. She brings it back and I realized standing and trying to pick up the ball even with the chuck it stick was still hard on my hip. I navigated myself to a chair and was scared to sit as it was lower than anything I’ve really sat in. But I remembered I sat in the wheelchair at hospital and it was low so I slowly managed myself into the chair. I threw Ginny the ball about 10 times and I was tired and sore. It was also super hot. I didn’t want to overdo it so before I felt like crap, I got myself back up on crutches and made my way back in.

More ice and back in bed. I’m sore and hip throbs some so I may have done a bit too much, or it just may be sore from movement, but I’m happy, a good exhausted and ready for Day 4. After this post, I’ll do my physical therapy exercises I was given by hospital therapist. Yesterday didn’t go so well so hoping today has some improvement. I know I have to give myself time and be patient – one day these exercises will seem like nothing, but today it takes all my effort and that’s okay.

Each day seems to get better. Sure, there is pain and discomfort but it’s different now and I can’t explain in well. This is a pain that comes and goes, but will eventually go. The pain I had before was constant and sharp. It made every movement hurt. This pain gets better if I treat it right. It’s okay to move some if I use the crutches.

I’m finding my way back slowly one day at a time.

I had such a good couple days both Tuesday after surgery and most of yesterday that I was taken by surprise with a rough night. It was brought on my medication induced constipation – TMI? Well I was going to omit but if I hide behind only the good times, others out there struggling will continue to feel alone too. It’s life and it’s temporary. My goal for writing is to help others in same or similar experiences. This is something to I wish I would have been more prepared for.

My surgeon had warned me of this and had prescribed medications for it. However, I did not expect it to be as bad as it was, and I hope to never experience something like that again. The hour long ordeal left me in tears and I had definitely unintentionally overstrained my hip. Today I’m trying to add Metamucil to the surgeon’s prescribed medication. I’ve also been able to cut back one pain pill every 4 hours so far, and that should help too. Hopefully my healthy diet will also help me to restore less painful bodily functions.

When you face surgery, you only focus really on the part of your body undergoing the surgery. I was so prepared for anything with my hip, I did not fully take into account other issues. My throat has been the worst – even more painful more often than my hip. The breathing tube must have been massive and scratched the whole length of my throat. As well I’ve had deep chest congestion that I’m trying to use deep breathing to clear up. It’s also a side effect of the breathing tube. I also had a catheter which has left some pain but minor compared to the breathing tube.

I woke up today after an extremely painful night that even max dose pain meds didn’t touch so I lay in bed watching Harry Potter marathon with Brad rubbing my head. It helped and eventually I drifted off to sleep the movie still playing.

I woke up at 8am and Brad was completely asleep. He had a rough night being up with me so I hated to wake him up. I got myself up as I had to use bathroom, and managed to also make it to kitchen to grab ice packs and a muffin. Not my typical breakfast but I had no energy yet to warm up my freezer meal breakfast and find a way to carry it to bed. Been balancing eating healthy but also getting food into me when I can too – sometimes meaning something I can easily transport to bed until I can get help.

After getting my ice wrap on and settling back into bed, Brad was still sleeping so I put on my Bose soundproof headphones and began listening to the Obstacle Order Podcast – Yancy Culp was guest and he’s always so inspiring. I dozed off towards the end of it.

Brad woke up around 10am and his movements woke me up too. I asked for my freezer breakfast meal of eggs and veggies to be warmed up, and he did. I managed most of them but nausea hit again. It’s off and on. More ice and I began to feel better. I got up and decided to wash up some with sink and dress myself – thank god for my $12 Amazon reacher/grabber.

This tool has been sooo handy. I can pull on my own underwear and shorts. I decided I really wanted a tea and more ice and decided to try to go get it myself. It was 1:05pm so decided I might as well get my lunch too. Lunch was pre made already – diced turkey burger with a side of romaine lettuce, hemp seeds with balsamic vinegar and olive oil. I warmed the meat in a bowl and put back into the bento box. I had managed to steep a tea. This meant cleaning out my mug from day before st sink, putting the mug bag into my lunch kit attached to my crutch and crutch across kitchen to the water cooler to make my tea. Lunch warmed up, banana put with my lunch, tea steeping, swapped ice – lunch kit only fit the ice packs and the tea mug so I still had to ask Brad to bring me my lunch – but I did get it ready myself!

Made it back it bed and ate most of my lunch and nausea hit again just at the end, as well as drowsiness. Dozed in and out a bit but I think I’ll need a good nap here soon. I really struggle with sleeping during the day but I’m getting better at accepting I need naps. The more I nap, the better I seem to feel.

The pain I feel is a deep heavy pain – it feels like the hip is trying to heal back into the socket. That it had been jarred (well in reality forcibly dislocated) and now is getting comfortable being back in joint. My swelling seems better today I think – we’ve done a decent job with icing. It’s not as easy to keep up on as you think. Either I have to ask for ice every 1.5 hours or get up myself. But my ice wrap I bought seems to keep ice cold long enough that I don’t need to rotate every 1.5 hours. We are getting 7-8 times a day of icing in out of the 5-10 tines recommended.

Today I’m allowed to take off the bulky bandage but we haven’t yet. I’m anxious and scared to. There was some bleeding yesterday I could see through the bandage so wondering if waiting for tomorrow morning may be better just since yesterday’s bleeding. But at same time – I really want it off as it’s huge. Icing will be easier when it’s off. But to be completely honest – seeing my leg bruised (most likely) and stitches is not easy for me. I think I’ll get the courage eventually – curiosity and discomfort of the big bandage is stronger than the fear of what’s underneath.

Made my follow up appointment today – was supposed to be 4 weeks post op but has to be a wee bit sooner as he’s away the week of my 4 weeks. Receptionist will make sure surgeon is okay with it but it’s only 3 days early so should be fine.

But it’s 3:17pm. Most of today is over it seems. Days seems so slow but also seem to fly by. Though last night scared us a bit and was no fun, I’m still hopeful that the worst is behind us.